This page is one of two on this issue, and explains the non-verbal communication associated with the body, including body language or body movements, also known as kinesics, posture, and proxemics, or the message given by how close we stand to someone else.
Body movements include gestures, posture, head and hand movements or whole body movements. Body movements can be used to reinforce or emphasise what a person is saying and also offer information about the emotions and attitudes of a person. However, it is also possible for body movements to conflict with what is said. A skilled observer may be able to detect such discrepancies in behaviour and use them as a clue to what someone is really feeling and thinking.
For example, the signals that mean 'OK', 'Come here! However, be aware that whilst some emblems are internationally recognised, others may need to be interpreted in their cultural context. Gestures which accompany words to illustrate a verbal message are known as illustrators. For example, the common circular hand movement which accompanies the phrase 'over and over again', or nodding the head in a particular direction when saying 'over there'.
Examples of 'regulators' include head nods, short sounds such as 'uh-huh', 'mm-mm', and expressions of interest or boredom. Regulators allow the other person to adapt his or her speech to reflect the level of interest or agreement. Without receiving feedback, many people find it difficult to maintain a conversation. Again, however, they may vary in different cultural contexts.
Adaptors include such actions as scratching or adjusting uncomfortable glasses, or represent a psychological need such as biting fingernails when nervous. Although normally subconscious, adaptors are more likely to be restrained in public places than in the private world of individuals where they are less likely to be noticed.
Adaptive behaviours often accompany feelings of anxiety or hostility. Research has identified a wide range of postural signals and their meanings, such as:. In an open posture, you might expect to see someone directly facing you with hands apart on the arms of the chair. An open posture can be used to communicate openness or interest in someone and a readiness to listen, whereas the closed posture might imply discomfort or disinterest.
And if he takes your hand, he lunges to get it and then squeezes so hard it hurts. Jack is a caring guy who secretly wishes he had more friends, but his nonverbal awkwardness keeps people at a distance and limits his ability to advance at work. Arlene is funny and interesting, but even though she constantly laughs and smiles, she radiates tension. Her shoulders and eyebrows are noticeably raised, her voice is shrill, and her body is stiff.
Being around Arlene makes many people feel anxious and uncomfortable. Arlene has a lot going for her that is undercut by the discomfort she evokes in others. When Sharon had something to say, Ted was always ready with wild eyes and a rebuttal before she could finish her thought. This made Sharon feel ignored, and soon she started dating other men.
Ted loses out at work for the same reason. His inability to listen to others makes him unpopular with many of the people he most admires. These smart, well-intentioned people struggle in their attempt to connect with others.
The sad thing is that they are unaware of the nonverbal messages they communicate. Nonverbal communication is a rapidly flowing back-and-forth process that requires your full focus on the moment-to-moment experience.
As well as being fully present, you can improve how you communicate nonverbally by learning to manage stress and developing your emotional awareness. Stress compromises your ability to communicate. And remember: emotions are contagious. If you are upset, it is very likely to make others upset, thus making a bad situation worse. Take a moment to calm down before you jump back into the conversation.
The fastest and surest way to calm yourself and manage stress in the moment is to employ your senses—what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch—or through a soothing movement.
By viewing a photo of your child or pet, smelling a favorite scent, listening to a certain piece of music, or squeezing a stress ball, for example, you can quickly relax and refocus. Since everyone responds differently, you may need to experiment to find the sensory experience that works best for you. In order to send accurate nonverbal cues, you need to be aware of your emotions and how they influence you. You also need to be able to recognize the emotions of others and the true feelings behind the cues they are sending.
This is where emotional awareness comes in. Pay attention to inconsistencies. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said. Is the person saying one thing, but their body language conveying something else? Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you are receiving, from eye contact to tone of voice and body language.
Taken together, are their nonverbal cues consistent—or inconsistent—with what their words are saying? Trust your instincts. Eye contact — Is the person making eye contact? If so, is it overly intense or just right? Giles is a writer with an MA Hons in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record.
By: C. How to Communicate With a Passive Examples of Effective Non-Verbal How to Communicate to a Man Who Has How to Be Emotionally Supportive of a Types of Communication Behavior. Verbal Versus Nonverbal Communication. How to Look More Masculine in the Face. Elements of Nonverbal Communication. Characteristics of Good Listening Skills.
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